Hope you dont MIND...

Hi Everyone, its been awhile so I thought I would jot down a thought or two to share with my fans :) heehee (wish it were so)
Throughout the years of my life (and no it hasnt been recently) I have been told by a few psychiatrist that my diagnosis is the following:
bi-polar- duh didnt need a dr. to tell me that
schizo- should have warned my friends about this one but it makes it more fun when they are unaware (oops, not anymore)
mildly depressed- oh wait- that would be mildly not happy
anxious- WOW!- this I had to see a Dr to tell me- I never noticed :)

After all the professional opinions, I have decided that this is why it makes it so hard to write this book of mine I have been dreaming about getting published one day. Dreaming about it with all my minds laboring over what this book should be about makes me tired and then the anxious side of me tells the schizo side to shut up and then my feelings gets hurt and Im crying but later (about 5 minutes top) later Im happy again - my bi polar self has emerged, Oh man!@, to go from sad to mad to happy and then to start this whole vicious cycle again, its amazing I can get my pajamas on at night much less write the novel of the century. No wonder I walk around with sandals that dont match, its only expressing who Iam on the inside with a slight shout out to the world. I will write more in the morn. Im tired and have an actual job so I need my beauty rest to scare you all tomorrow.

No Offense but....

We all know when someone starts off their sentences with,"No Offense" it pretty much means be prepared to be crapped on and then asked to step in some of it with your barefeet, but with all good intentions right? I say "dogdoo" to the good intentions , All it means is someone is going to say things about me that Im not going to like and I have to stand there with my goofy smile and say "of course, none taken" while they spew their words of wisdom that I didnt ask for in any way shape or form or circle or quadrahexagon (does that even exist?)

Take for instance if Im wearing the wrong color muumuu with my zebra print sandals with holes in them with my unpainted toenails, I meant to go out in public wearing this, I know it looks riiidiculous but my current wardrobe dresser from the set is off again today, so bear with me. When I go out the door with my hair in a hat again for the 10 billionth time, I did not miss my appt with Sissypants, I just chose to wear a stinkin hat ponytail and all! Oh and the larger you are does not mean the harder your hard candy coating is on your heart when someone tells you are so cute and roly poly" leave that comment to the round black bugs on the sidewalk please!
By the way on another note... No, I dont want to take a hula dance class with all you skinny girls (heehee) I might have to show off my belly ring (even if I had one, Im pretty sure I couldnt find it lost in the blubber where my bellybutton resides).
Wait, lets talk about weight comments, you do not make me motivated, contrary to your brlliant opinion (yes that includes my own loving mom)
it only wants to make me strangle your small scrawney neck (heehee) Im a work in progress and the only comments I need to hear, I do hear...
from myself in the form of denial, spitting and coughing up phlem and pity parties in my mirror everyday and that is all, UNBELIEVABLE AS YOU MAY FIND THIS- your words cannot make me or motivate me, only until I want to find my skinny self (Sung to the tune of "oh,where oh where has my little dog gone")to CHOSE to wear color cooordinated clothing and cute earrings and matching sandals does this make any sense. I love you all but NO Offense.
This blog is not written to anyone in particular( so stop thinking its you :) . I need to love me and I start today when I make up my mind to say- NO OFFENSE is the biggest OFFENSE of all!
In reality after writing this down ( during this short time of producing this blog) I came to the BiPolar conclusion that I hate "no offense" but love you all for loving me enough to give me crap( that would be the doggydoodoo :)
This chick has not given up yet. I have God on my side and I will fight this offense till I come out of it with happy hair and good cholesterol even if you dont make any more SUGGESTIONS.

Good Samaritan or ...

Hey Everyone,
This latest blog adventure spans 2 days so stop if you are bored and then begin again like I do everything in my life(heehee)
So here goes...Every year my family and I attend a Japanese festival at our community center and every year it is filled to the gills, fins and other gut parts with not only Asians from all over the valley but also people of every race. This includes the neighborhood that surrounds the center. Now Im not saying this to be predjudice but the area where the center is is less than desirable area to live in and some areas surrounding t are just downright scary, well, if you are comfortbable with AK47s,gangbangers and tattooed grandmas and helicopters flying in motion to catch the latest raid, you would fit right in but otherwise-NOT. I grew up going here since I was little so the noise and terror dont seem to be a problem for me anymore.
When the SWAT teams runs through and advises to duck into buildings, I guess its gettings a little rough but for me it is a wonderful event no matter what each year. With wonderful food and Japanese arts and dancing it cant be beat. This year it happened to be especailly crowded because it was the 4th of July weekend so inevitably there were fluffy guests who were scared into attending this event to seek refuge from the firecrackers being set off. You may not know me well yet but I can tell you now that give me a lost soul wheter it is human or other form and Im all about making things right so when I saw this scrawney little dog about 9 months old racing across the highway to get to the carnival, I had to act.

I ended up carrying this little dog for 5 hours (stupid, but so me) trying to find its owner and then at the end of the evening I decided I couldnt leave her. She was the swetest little dog I have ever come across but I knew I couldnt take her as she had as much chance living at my house as becoming Americas Next Top Model with Kujo and Killer my dogs and The Last Samurai my husband if I brought another lost cause to our doorstop.So I thought hard and brought it to one of my besties (angel on the wrong block) and they opened their house to this lost little furball for a night.
After her brief but menaingful stay where her dog became a neurotic mess and the bath from you know where, she was all clean and they were so kind to make some flyers for me I took her back the next evening and proceeded to post flyers around the area hoping someone might call.

While I was taping my last flyer up on to a nasty telephone line who looked like it had seen many flyers of this sort and some other gross things living on it, I heard someone yell out to me from across the way from the Center. "Hey, thats my dog", she said and I turned around hoping to find Mary Poppins and Mother Therea all in one caring package but instead I saw the lady from "Addicted" and "Hoarders" all in one- wait, maybe she was the lady from Throw Momma From the Train"(just to give you a visual)
She went on and on about how God must have sent me to give her dog back to her and all about her health etc and finally I relented and handed her the dog. Here's the thing, the dog looks at me and I look at her and she is crying and frozen with fear and so am I- Im thinking this is what the dog is thinking : HOLY CRAP not again! are you flippin wacked? Im not going with this crackhead old lady again!" I just escaped and now Im right back in her grubby paws!a Thanks, Thanks alot Fatty!".
We have all seen the movie when a someone is being led to the gas chamber and they yell out "IM INNOCENT" if this dog could yell, Im sure this is her plea. She was the owner but man, I wish it wasnt true. So you think that was the end of the whole sad story but guess what this on this night my chance to be a Good Samaritan didnt expire just yet...
Not 2 hours later my daughter (who God bless her soul) is like me in so many ways walks up to me and on the end of leash at the CARNIVAL AGAIN is ANOTHER STINKIN LOST SOUL -fatter stubbier and furrier but still another lost soul. HOW does this happen to me??? She says with a grin : Look Mom, we found another one. HERE we go again.... God Bless The Sucker